Individual bright or dark glory

Long time no writing. Well, I have been writing, just not on this blog.

I am useless as a friend. No matter how much I try to stay in communication with others, somehow, in some way, I mess up. I have been to my one of my friend's house on numerous occasions, for hours at a time, even overnight, yet this person has been to be home for less than 3 hours total. Even when I lived down the street literally, I was often over there, never at mine. I feel like there is something about me that just makes friendship not work out. Ever since I had a child, it has been even worse. I just feel as if friendship isn't for me and I am learning to be okay with that. I have in a way given up on going out, movie nights with friend, even just walks around town. My immediate family, my husband and son. are probably going to be the only people who won't just walk out, or maybe that won't be true.

I suppose I am doing all I can to learn to just..be alone.