Sunday, March 30, 2014

Beautifully choppy

Sometimes I wish I could be like the people who can live on one paycheck and save the rest, the people who have friends and parents who can house them, give them land, allow them the freedom to be whoever they are.
I wish I could be like them. Maybe I could be a bit more happier. Maybe if I was older, and had a established career, I could have that.
But I don't.
I don't have the family and friends with extra space and land. Shoot, I don't even have friends who think I'm cool enough to hang out with. One day.
I don't like where I am at in life, but yet I had to admit I'm at the mercy of life right now. There isn't much I can do that won't effect me in a huge way. I can work, but i would involve expensive day care, little time for chores and cooking, and most of that cash would go right back out the door. Whether we want to admit it or not, having two incomes with a family isn't always going to be the best idea.

If I know all these things, why do I seemingly punish myself by reading blogs of people who claim to be poor, but have many luxuries, or friends willingly to bail them out at a notice moment or massive savings after 30 years old work?

oh well.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Darknes of Spring

I haven't been here in a bit.
Not much has changed.
Still alone, still the backup friend.
No matter how often I dump my soul, there is no benefit from that and It just seems to make things worse. I suppose I should be okay with that..but I'm not.